Readers leave when they do not know the deal
The PLR letter formulas in the download are useful because they force an order: attention, problem, promise, proof, offer, ask. Skip the order and you get a pretty page that does not sell.
Open with the outcome, not your bio
First screen: who this is for and what changes. If you need a story, make it one paragraph that proves you have seen the problem. Then get back to the reader.
Proof before the price
Examples, screenshots, and specific numbers beat adjectives. If you have no testimonials yet, show the mechanism: the checklist, the template, the before/after of a page. The secrets pack is a study file - steal structure, not hype.
One ask, repeated once
Two prices and three bonuses on the first screen create delay. State the offer, what happens after they click, and the next step. Repeat that ask after the last objection. Then stop writing.